2019. There’s a break in a blog. A blog I have finally found my way back into. I’ve spent an hour reading my old posts and frankly sobbing into my duvet !
Some memories are so poignant. Some i cringe at my naive thoughts.

I feel I want to write. I need to write and pour my thoughts and emotions onto  a page.
 Keep watching.

growing up

Today we bumped into Lily's playgroup teacher ,Sue. She always loved Sue and Sue was the one who make the most progress getting Lily to talk and socialise in those first days when she was such a shy , quiet little girl.

Sue immediately asked me if Lily still had her friends Milly and Sister, and then it all came rushing back to me. All those times I pushed Milly on a swing and people looked at me as though I was mad. There was that time i accidentally sat on Milly and was told off! Mostly just observing Lily playing with Milly and sister all day. To her, her imaginary friends were very real and they had such detailed back stories , down to birthdates and likes and dislikes. There were times that I thought there must be something more to it. I still believe that. I think the first time Lily mentioned Milly was so amazing that since then I have believed that perhaps these were little spirit friends ? Lily was only 18 months old when Milly joined us. we had just moved into our new house in Hither Green and she was sitting in the lounge on the floor when suddenly she got up and went over to the window whee she began chatting away to someone. I looked over and asked her who she was talking to. she told me it was "little girl" Little girl crying" then " little girls birthday 22 august" I was a little freaked out especially by that precise date. To this day Lily cant even remember her own birthday. In the following days her name emerged and Milly was around everyday all day.

Then suddenly Lily started school and about a month after Milly was mentioned less and less and finally not at all. Its quite sad that we lost her but Lily's imagination is still going strong...

eggstremely eggciting

St James park.. dusk
Wheres Wally egg








the big egg hunt started on shrove Tuesday in London. A brilliant idea supporting elephant family and action for children. There are 12 Zones around London with over 200 eggs to find. Its supported by Faberge, them of the famous eggs..

We set off on our first egg hunt today walking to Piccadilly through Trafalgar Square and going to find the wheres wally egg that changes location daily. Today's clue was the largest bookstore in Europe which happens to be Waterstones on Piccadilly. It has also been national book day and Lily had a book voucher to spend, so we spent an hour reading and doing a wheres wally hunt. We one a cool wheres Wally bag and stickers.

We then wandered on past the Ritz to Green park with a bag of take away sushi and continued looking all around St James park too.

Of course I am now totally addicted to finding all the eggs. Today I found 18. gulp.

its the most wonderful time of the year

Fortnum and Mason window display
The Ritz
Hyde park winter wonderland
Fortnums windows again. too divine

Hello. How does one start blogging again after a long absence ? do I catch you up? Do I just begin? My verbose personality would usually take the catch up route,but for a change I think I'll just begin with... Christmas

Its my most favourite time of year. I love the happy , joyful atmosphere. the twinkling lights and the Christmas trees. The mulled wine and snowballs and the mince pies.. oh the mince pies..

My mum made Christmas a very special time for my brother and I when we were young. So much time and effort went into our Christmas. I am in turn doing the same thing for Lily.

We have been to a few Christmas fairs already and stood around in crisp weather sipping mulled wine. we'll be seeing Father Christmas very soon as well, at Hever Castle as we did last year. Its so special .

I also have booked to see a pantomime this year. Something I have always wanted to do. I have been to one many years ago in Cape Town but only remember it vaguely . Its such an English institution, the pantomime . Every theatre has one and every actor is in one. We will be seeing Aladdin at the Greenwich theatre this year.

whats everyone else doing in the run up to Christmas ?

It made me giggle the other day. I was on the train going to Wimbledon to meet a friend for tea, and was rummaging around in my bag. I looked down and realised I may be Cath Kidsons biggest fan. Bag, purse, make up bag and oyster card holder all from Ms kidson.

This week I have also been making some little invitions for Lily's 5th birthday party. I can in no way believe she will be turning 5. She got her first school report on Thursday. we were so proud of her. She is developing confidence. speaks in a clear strong voice when addressing others. She has good handwriting and her phonics and maths are both good. I think my favourite line was" Lily knows right from wrong and always chooses to do the right thing." I cried with that one. That's what a mummy wants isn't it?

10 sentences

1. Our little Tinkerbell continues to grow and play. we adore her and fight over the cuddles she gives out. she recently has been exploring our garden under supervision and its so sweet watching her sniff about and chase flies and pounce on flowers ( actually that last ones not so cute)

Here are some photos taken of her over the last couple of months

oh.. Ill just watch this episode of garfield and then I think Ill have a lay down

2. Lily is loving the summer days as am I. We had a couple of horrid weather weeks but this week we have been having very hot weather. We like going to the park on warm days, putting down our checked blanket and having picnics and running around ( that's not me though , that's Lily)
3. I have become a gardener. I don't know how it happened and I don't profess to be good at it but I have a keen interest and take photos obsessively of my flowers and plants as they grow and bloom. I water and deadhead and just sit and look at them all. I found these photos of my spring garden and beautiful tulips

4. I have been utterly inspired by the website pinterest. I have so many ideas in my head I don't know where to start.

5.I started fertility treatment this month. I'm taking clomid to induce ovulation. I was so HOT when I was taking the pills for the 5 days it was absolutely crazy. I just hope and pray it is working. I can honestly say Ive never been so emotional and up and down in my life as this last 8 months when I realised that we had a problem. please keep your fingers crossed for me.

6. I'm throwing a baby shower for a dear friend of mine. We are making and baking and creating. Its been really great and Ive developed a need to make tissue paper pom poms.

7. My little baby is learning to read. Only 4 still and can read a small first reader. I cant quite believe how fast its gone. only 4 more weeks left of reception. its gone too fast

8.I'm loving hollumi cheese . I grill it and put it on roasted veg with red lentils or I put it on tabbouleh salad . totally delicious

9.cupcake baking and icing is the forefront hobby at the moment. I'm not certain my figure thanks me but my tum tum and taste buds do

10. My mum arrives in 4 and a half week . hurrah! we have lots planned including Disneyland Paris . Too excited!

compliments

This week I changed my twitter avatar to a picture of myself on my birthday. I like the picture which is an unusual occurrence as mostly my self esteem of late is lacking.

a lovely twitter follower who I chat with sent me a private message which said that she had just seen my photo and she thought I was beautiful.

My first reaction was horror and embarrassment, but quickly that turned to a lovely happy feeling. For once I took the compliment and I needed it that day.

I have decided if I can compliment anyone, I will. You never know how you can lift someones spirit